Diary of Jitender Mangla

Diary of Jitender Manglahttp://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/Diary of Jitender Manglaen-usFUNNY SHAYARIArz kiya hai......... .
Kal jab mile thhe....
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain...
your FILE NOT FOUND!
------------ --------- ---------
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
CTRL+ALT+ DEL kar doonga...
------------ --------- ---------
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya
ke PASTE karna bhool gaye....
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Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to DOUBLE CLICK karo...
------------ --------- ---------
Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekti hain
jaise 0 ERRORS aur 5 WARNING...
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Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
No more DISK SPACE.
------------ --------- ---------
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya SERVER DOWN

]]>Sat, 07 Jun 2008 15:48:31 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/07/FUNNY-SHAYARI-1.html@@@@@@@DOST@@@@@@@खुशी भी दोस्तो से है,
गम भी दोस्तो से है,

तकरार भी दोस्तो से है,
प्यार भी दोस्तो से है,

रुठना भी दोस्तो से है,
मनाना भी दोस्तो से है,

बात भी दोस्तो से है,
मिसाल भी दोस्तो से है,

नशा भी दोस्तो से है,
शाम भी दोस्तो से है,

जिन्दगी की शुरुआत भी दोस्तो से है,
जिन्दगी मे मुलाकात भी दोस्तो से है,

मौहब्बत भी दोस्तो से है,
इनायत भी दोस्तो से है,

काम भी दोस्तो से है,
नाम भी दोस्तो से है,

ख्याल भी दोस्तो से है,
अरमान भी दोस्तो से है,

ख्वाब भी दोस्तो से है,
माहौल भी दोस्तो से है,

यादे भी दोस्तो से है,
मुलाकाते भी दोस्तो से है,

सपने भी दोस्तो से है,
अपने भी दोस्तो से है,

या यूं कहो यारो,
अपनी तो दुनिया ही दोस्तो से है.]]>Wed, 28 May 2008 15:00:18 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/28/DOST.htmlSARDAR IS THE GREAT

SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... Pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. . .

============ ========= ========= ===

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away **

Sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said
'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

============ ========= ========= ===

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour

============ ========= ========= == *

Sardar*: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml

Now it's 1.5 ltr.

============ ========= ========= === *

Teacher*: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

Sardar: lara dutta marries Brian lara and she becomes lara lara

============ ========= ========= ==

Teacher: is line ki English banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi
Gya.

Santa: He done his work and done Dana Dan done Dana Dan....

============ ========= ========= ===

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz don't sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye don't worry yaar I'll get up when he comes.!!..

============ ========= ========= ===

Sardar wanted to make a STD. Call to Punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.

============ ========= ========= ===

Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital *
Ki* jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein"Delivery Free" hai.

============ ========= ========= ===

A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai Saab?o
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

============ ========= ========= ===== *
*

One tourist from U.S.A. **Asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this
village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

============ ========= ========= ==== *
*
**
Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay Mata di.
============ ========= ========= ====

American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji says: " India me to.. Shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

============ ========= ========= === *
*

When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Sardarji, how far is LAND?
Sardar: 2kms....
Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?
Sardar: DOWNWARDS.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =

Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud **I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai
jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

============ ========= ========= ===
Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.

============ ========= ========= ===
2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even I did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both
copied.

============ ========= ========= ===
A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:

Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
& She is my kidney.

============ ========= ========= ===

Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent
my wife with him. *

]]>Sat, 24 May 2008 17:28:43 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/24/SARDAR-IS-THE-GREAT-1.htmlHow to ask your Boss for a salary increase? Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

]]>Sat, 17 May 2008 13:10:07 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/17/How-to-ask-your-Boss-for-a-salary-increase.htmlHindi Movies And ComputerHindi Movies And Computer

Hamara Hardisk Aapke Paas Hai

Hum Aapke Memory Mein Rahate Hain

Hum Hai Programmer Oracle Ke

Programmer no 1

Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

Do(2) processor baarah(12) terminal

Mera Code Chal Gaya

Network Ke Uss Paar

Jis Desh Mein Bill(Gates) Rahata Hai

Client Ek Numbari, PROGRAMMER Dus Nambari

Login Karo Sajana

Firewall (Border)

DOWN To Hona Hi Tha

Partition (Deewar)

Kaho Na Virus Hay

Y2K - A Bug Story

]]>Wed, 07 May 2008 16:55:46 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/07/Hindi-Movies-And-Computer-1.html@@!!!!So Sweet is ur.......!!!!@@So Sweet is ur SMILE???

So Sweet is ur STYLE???

So Sweet is ur VOICE???

So Sweet is ur EYE?????

See .......how Sweetly I LIE.

Advance Happy April Fool

]]>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:23:37 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/03/29/So-Sweet-is-ur.htmlWhat is Love???What is Love??? ,:O)

A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children were asked, "What does love mean?" The
answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday" (Tina - age 7)

--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else
kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)

--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4)

--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 )

--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy - age 6 )

--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )

--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)

--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )

--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all
the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the
only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8)

--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 )

MORAL!

Love........ ....!

is not only made for lovers...... . its also for friends
who love each other sometimes better than a lover .

Smile and spread some love today :O)

love everyday :O))

]]>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:22:23 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/03/29/What-is-Love.htmlMy Dream and YouMy Dream and You
Are same as you
Day and night
I just fight
With myself
That I can live
Without you
Its hard but its part
Of my life
I am nothing
without you
You are mine
And you should not
Live without me
As I can not live
without you
Its useless world
If I am not with you
My dream and you
Are same as you

]]>Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:21:58 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/03/29/My-Dream-and-You-1.html<<< == Collage Days...===>>......Read and feel...

Nice poem on the last day of college

Raah dekhi thi is din ki kabse,
Aage ke sapne saja rakhe the naajane kab se.
Bade utavle the yahaan se jaane ko ,
Zindagi ka agla padaav paane ko .

Par naa jane kyon ..Dil mein aaj kuch aur aata hai,
Waqt ko rokne ka jee chahta hai.

Jin baton ko lekar rote the Aaj un par hansi aati hai,
Na jaane kyon aaj un palon ki yaad bahut aati hai .

Kaha karte the ..Badi mushkil se char saal seh gaya,
Par aaj kyon lagta hai ki kuch peeche reh gaya.

Na bhoolne wali kuch yaadein reh gayi,
Yaadien jo ab jeene ka sahara ban gayi.

Meri taang ab kaun kheencha karega ,
Sirf mera sir khane kaun mera peecha karega.
Jahaan 2000 ka hisaab nahin wahaan 2 rupay ke liye
kaun ladega,

Kaun raat bhar saath jag kar padega ,
Kaun mere naye naye naam banayega.
Mein ab bina matlab kis se ladoonga,
Bina topic ke kisse faalto baat karoonga ,

Kaun fail hone par dilasa dilayega,
Kaun galti se number aane par gaaliyaan sunayega .

Dhabe par Chaay kis ke saath piyoonga ,
Wo haseen pal ab kis ke saath jiyoonga,

Aise dost kahaan milenge Jo khai mein bhi dhakka de
aayein,
Par fir tumhein bachane khud bhi kood jayein.

Mere gaano se pareshaan kaun hoga ,
Kabhi muje kisi ladki se baat karte dekh hairaan kaun
hoga ,

Kaun kahega saale tere joke pe hansi nahin aai ,
Kaun peeche se bula ke kahega..aage dekh bhai .

Achanak bin matlab ke kisi ko bhi dekh kar paglon ki
tarah hansna,
Na jaane ye fir kab hoga .

Doston ke liye professor se kab lad payenge ,
Kya hum ye fir kar payenge,

Kaun muje mere kabiliyat par bharosa dilayega,
Aur jyada hawa mein udne par zameen pe layege ,

Meri khushi mein sach mein khush kaun hoga ,
Mere gam mein muj se jyada dukhi kaun hoga...

KEH DO DOSTON YE DOBAARA KAB HOGA ....??

]]>Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:59:11 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/03/26/Collage-Days.htmlPyaar hai ek phulPyaar hai ek phul

Pyar hai wo hasta huwa phul

Jo har ek insaan ke nasib me nahi..

Jise milta hai pyaar wo is duniya ka

khush nasib insaan hai..

Jise na mile pyaar wo na jane kaise ji leta hai?

Isiliye jindgi me aa kar insaan ne kisi na kise se

pyaar karna chahiye

Ek bar apna dil kisi ke liye bekarar karna chahiye..

Is se jo khushi milti hai wo khushi kisi or chig me nahi..

Is me mushkile bahot si hoti hai

Magar use nibha kar aage badhne wala insaan hi

Pyaar me kamyab kehlaya jata hai..

Harne wale insaan ka pyaar sachha nahi.

Pyaar insaan ko hasna sikhata hai.

Har dard me rona sikhata hai..

Pyaar hai wo ek darya

Jisme kho jane ko ji chahta hai.

Isiko kehte hai pyaar

Jo har pal hame yaado me

Kho jane ko majbur karta hai.

Jaan se jyada is pyaar par

Mar mitne ko dil chata hai

Duniya ki najro se use chura kar

Kahi dur le jane ko ji chahta hai..

Kyoki ye duniya kabhi do sachhe pyaar

Karne walo ko milne nahi deti

Magar dil me ho aas to

Pyaar ki umido ko tutne nahi deti..

]]>Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:36:42 +0530http://jeetumangla.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/03/17/Pyaar-hai-ek-phul-1.html